My Peculiar Pet
by DawnDestination
Summary: Edmund and Lucy had brought home a pet to Cair Paravel. A tiny new responsibility, as it may seem. And the first task is finding out its gender. Edmund thinks its male. Lucy thinks its female. Caspian thinks its a lesbian and Susan thinks its gay. Peter? Well, he's neutral for Aslan's sake. One-Shots.


**I'm back! Finally did a one-shot for the first time! ****  
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**Any disclaimers can be found on my profile. Enjoy! I would love to hear your thoughts about this ****ficlet:) **

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It was a beautiful day in Narnia. The Eastern Sea rolled back the peaceful and gentle waves frolicking on the shores as its splash rocked seaweeds and vibrant corals to move swiftly with its will. The winds seemed to sigh through the large palm leaves and coconut trees that swayed in breeze of the summer morning. The cry of seagulls echoed through the horizon, where one could sieve their bare hands to the depths of the sand as they hear their cries. If you entered Cair Paravel, you'd see servants running everywhere, chatting away and crafting flamboyant designs around pillars and walls. It all seemed peaceful, until one day, when the Just King and the Valiant Queen brought home a pet.

"What the bloody hell is going on?!" Servants, maids and unmoving soldiers could hear the blast of the High King in frustration of his bother and sister fighting again. The High King stomped his foot, making the marbled floor of the grand Cair Paravel Castle seem echoed with every step his seemed to trudge on. Peter yanked the door angrily, shoving it with a loud thud as he closed the door behind him. Edmund and Lucy we're up on their lungs, fighting once again that disturbed the peaceful atmosphere of the castle.

"Peter, tell Lucy that this little guy here is a _male_." Edmund gestured to a figure perched on the tip of the chair, flapping its wings rapidly as the two monarchs were fighting. It was a falcon, a majestic one that conveyed authority and fierceness. It had thin tapered wings indicating it was an adult. It's wingspan ranged longer than the desk table upon where Lucy begins her morning readings and where the Just King spends his time studying rules and council.

"No, Peter! Can't you see it's a girl?!" Lucy argued. Peter stole a quick glance on the falcon, eyeing the beautiful bird that had an unverified gender.

"A girl? Lucy, have you ever seen a female falcon that has such fine-narrowed wings?" Edmund ridiculed. The falcon squawked as Edmund pinned one of its wings so it had faced both of his siblings directly. It was tethered so it couldn't get away.

"Fine-narrowed wings or not, I know a female when I see one!" Lucy argued. "She has a beige like tan on her throat! That makes her female!" Peter shushed the constant protests of the two, arguing whether it had been a male or female.

"Peter, what is this dire commotion?" Peter skimmed his glanced towards his sister, who came barging in the door with a frustrated face. "If you all don't pipe down, my guests will be forced to leave and I shall have to get rid of that." Susan threatened, scratching her forehead very daintily. Caspian came in, trailing behind Susan as he began shielding his ears from the glass shattering shrieking of Lucy and Edmund.

"We'll pipe down if you can tell us what its gender is." Edmund challenged, sending sophisticated glares to his sister who growled in annoyance. "Caspian, you had a pet bird. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to tell." Caspian approached hesitantly, following Susan's eye command. He drew near the fowl as it perpetually kept screeching, trying to wrench free from the clasp on its foot.

"Why, it's a female that looks like a male." Caspian assumed, nudging its pale white chest striped in brown. The bird shook its feathers, wailing scornfully as the people around it tried scrutinizing every detail on him. Edmund fumed, glowering at Caspian's attempt to take on Lucy's side.

"I don't think so, Caspian." Susan countered; approaching the bird, thinking there was only one way to resolve their madness. "Narnian female falcons are usually smaller compared to males. This one here is the biggest I've ever seen. This is a male that looks like a female." Caspian threw her a bewildered gaze, knowing what kind of bird he had experiences with.

"I have experiences here, Susan. I know what gender falcons are categorized in." Caspian politely protested.

"Are you insinuating I have no experience? I know Narnia a thousand years before you even existed?!" Susan hollered, pounding her right fist on her left palm.

"Careful, Sue. Aslan might take back your title." Edmund commented.

"Caspian's right, Sue. Just accept it." Lucy glared, smiling slyly. Susan frowned at the both of them; flabbergasted her younger sister was turning against her. Peter stepped back, trapping himself in one corner as more breakouts were spewed in the room, quietly hoping they weren't heard too much. More arguments came, as Caspian tried convincing Susan he knows what he sees and she was just mistaken. Susan did not accept his proposals about the bird. She kept bickering that it was a male, although it made Edmund relieved, knowing at least there was someone who was on his side. He glanced at Lucy and frowned at her, and then the two began their own improper arguments.

Soon the room was filled with violent disputes, each claiming they're right. Peter groaned and scratched his head, thinking of ways to resolve the situation.

"Why don't you twits check their feathers on their tails? If they're pointed, it's a male. If they're round, it's a female." Peter yelled, trying to make him heard until their arguments quieted down to low grumbles and approving nods. Caspian clasped the foot of the falcon which began shrieking more loudly than ever, trying to peck his hands and scratch Caspian's tunic with its sharp talons as he pinned it down the table. The four monarchs search impatiently for the tail feathers, lifting one after the other. But astonishingly, it had both rounded and pointed feathers!

"That helped, Peter." Susan mocked, still upset with Caspian.

"I'm sick of quarrels!" Peter yelled.

"No, my brother. You're sick of losing them." Edmund taunted, placing an accusing finger on Peter's chest. Even he could not resist an opposing response.

"Why don't we all ask the Professor?" Caspian suggested, hoping maybe his tutor would take his side and let him win the argument finally.

"Alright then. To the professor." Peter led their group, as they headed out. After a few shifts and turns, they came to a stop in the library. Peter slowly opened the door, peeping to see the Professor stamping books and piling them up on the other side of his desk. Quietly they entered, with Edmund carrying the falcon in his arms. Caspian was the first to speak up, taking the falcon from the hesitant Just King and set it on the Professor's desk.

"Professor, can you tell if this is a male or a female?" Caspian asked, prodding the bird over to the Professor, who narrowed his eyes in wonder. He carefully inspected its parts, confused if he was to take sides on either gender. Finally, he gave up, succumbing to the request of his King.

"I may have to kill it to see its insides." The Professor stated.

"No! I don't want it killed! I saw it today fighting other wild birds off in the forest! Now what female does that?" Edmund bellowed.

"It proves nothing of the sort. It only states that it has male instinct, either way, it could be female." Lucy explained, still not surrendering.

"Well, this is a situation that could concern another eagle." The Professor said, lifting his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. He told them of his plan, and everyone seemed to agree that it was the trial that could determine the most accurate verdict they had all been arguing over fro the past afternoon, even over at lunch and midday snacks. Peter took no sides, as it would make the balance of the number of people arguing uneven, and either way, it would hurt one of his siblings.

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Finally, the castle gained its tranquility, when all arguing monarchs had left the castle and down to the forest. As they carried the falcon, many birds circled above them, observing the large bird squirming in Edmund's protective arms. The daunting forest grew captivated and alive when they entered. Birds of every species perched up on the branches of the lone trees high above them. Some settled where the branch reached the highest stretching towards the marmalade pink sky that was streaked in cream yellow, asking the setting sun for its warmth.

"If this falcon defeated the fiercest birds of this forest, would you finally agree it is a male?" Edmund challenged, whispering his coarse murmur to the ears of his annoyed little sister, who grumbled in consent.

"If this falcon defeated them, I would believe anything." Lucy said proudly, arching her brows when he made his challenge. Soon everyone stood there, finding a bird suitable for a match. While they were still searching, Edmund let the eagle fly a few feet from them, as it was tethered in a very long rope. As it flapped its wings aggressively towards the other birds that dashed away, recognizing its territorial instinct, it disgraced many birds and fought angrily with fowls that hovered near it.

"See, it must be a male!" Susan cheered.

"Now, can we all wait before we have the final verdict of this trial?" Peter ordered, glancing desperately around flying wild birds of prey. The forest grew a severe commotion, when a huge figure glided above them, casting a huge shadow as it perched on the tallest branch of a tree near them, eyeing the aggressive falcon that squawked even more aggressively. The bird was a red falcon, one of Narnia's fiercest fowls that have ever soared in its skies. Their beaks are impressively sharp, and their talons can scratch the bark of a rough tree in one swipe. Once it had settled on the branch, it extended its wings referring to its dominance in the surrounding territory. The Pevensie's Falcon's response was a loud screech, brewing its wings, deflecting the warning threat.

"Oh no, Edmund. Pick a less formidable opponent." Lucy begged, afraid her falcon could get killed for the Red Falcon was a legend for its strength. Its head was large, armed in its thick skull and broad wings.

"My falcon can beat that just as easily." Edmund growled.

"Edmund, this might not be the best idea-" Caspian trailed, agreeing with Lucy's plea. This bird was unlike none they had ever seen, and it would be a total shame if it had died. Edmund did not listen to their pleas, instead he abruptly took off the clasp chained to the bird and threw it towards the encroaching enemy. The brown alcon screeched, scratching the chest of the Red Falcon, who mirrored its actions. They couldn't believe what they were seeing, it seemed as if it wasn't an inevitable fight. Each seemed to posses an equal amount of strength as they pondered over each other. All were just blurs and feathers colliding with each other, until finally, the Red Falcon shrieked loudly, before hurrying away to the vast forest indicating its shameful defeat.

Edmund caught his bird perched on the tree before it could sail away. Their falcon had won, which meant only one thing.

"I guess you're right, Edmund. It is a male. How about we name it 'Edmund?" Caspian teased, stroking the soft feathers of the now fiercest bird of Narnia, dethroning the Red Falcon.

"I told you I was right." Susan insisted, kicking Caspian's arm, who merely rolled his eyes.

"Alright, its settled then. It's a male. Now can we all go home?" Peter asked aggravated. He had had enough of bird talk, as they had discussed it all day long, and he longed to take a quiet breather from it. He wiped the sweat from his face and began walking his way back home. Lucy looked down in disappointment, crunching the leaves that dried on her feet. Edmund approached her with his pet, and he let Lucy stroke him. She smiled at him in surrender.

"You were right all along." She sighed. Edmund chuckled, knowing he was always right.

"Here, you can hold him." Edmund said, now knowing it was a male. Lucy took the falcon in her arms and fondle over its plush and soft fur, It was a handsome falcon, and everyone decided to name it 'Edmund,' but before that, if they found out it was a girl, they would name it Lucy. She grew disappointed, since she has always wanted something named after her.

Suddenly, the falcon began to cackle with laughter. Everyone turned their heads to see the loud squeal of the falcon, and see what was going on. Lucy grew frightened when it cackled so loudly, then she felt something warm drop on her palms.

She looked down and gasped when she saw...an egg!

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**Any disclaimers can be found on my profile. Well, do you like it? I would love to hear what you think! **


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